Saturday, February 23, 2013

I don't mean to complain, but I guess I am

 We are smack dab in the middle of Gabe's tour season right now. We knew we had a 3 month long haul ahead of us, but I gotta be honest.... I thought it would go so much faster than it has. It is so defeating to have a rough week with him gone and look up and realize you are barely half way through it. We will get back to having a full week together come April, but April still feels soooo far away!!

 There are plenty of days where I look at Amara and think " I have such an amazing child! She is so good and very pleasant to be around!" Then, there are those days where I just feel like I want to put her down and walk away for a few minutes...or hours....ok....days. These rare feelings don't always occur because she is behaving badly either. Sometimes I just want the consta knot that lives in my right shoulder blade to take a break from throbbing, or I want to fan myself until I quit sweating. Sometimes, I don't want to have to get her out of the car when I got in somewhere, but then again I don't want to end up on the local news..."baby left in car while mother shops in JoAnn's". I would never leave Amara in the car....let's be clear on that, but sometimes I just want a big, FAT break.

 When Gabe comes home, not only does he want to "rest", which involves me hanging with A, but he also wants family time, which involves me hanging with A, and he has to take writing sessions, which involves me hanging with A. Therefore, I truly feel like I never get a break to myself. Even when we have to drive separately to something, it is only natural that we assume that I will drive with Amara. I am sure other moms can relate that sometimes just that moment of being alone and turning up the music as loud as you want feels pretty dang good!

 All of this to say,  I don't want to be in a place where I am complaining or sounding unhappy every time I talk to my husband. It is the last thing he needs, and it has the ammo to strain our relationship. We barely get to talk when he is away as it is....don't want to fill that up with complaints. However, I have to be honest with myself sometimes and just say " I need a day off!!" I don't want a trip to the grocery store alone to be my outing every week. I want to go do something that is impossible to do with a toddler. Just as much as we need family time together, Amara also needs time with daddy alone. I would feel guilty taking a friend up on an offer to watch Amara without it being something that I HAD to do. I don't feel that way with my husband. Gabe and I are partners and we have each other's backs!!

 I am taking a "day off" on Thursday, and I honestly can't wait. I have an amazing husband, and great family that is more than helpful, but there is nothing like truly stepping away to reset and recharge! I know I can finish this tour off strong and happily!!

Thanks, as always, for reading!!


  1. Jenni, thanks for being so honest. Sometimes it is hard for me to admit that I need some time away from the kids, but it doesn't make me a bad mom, it just makes me human. And if you ever need to complain to someone, I'm all ears! :)

  2. You are SUPERMOM! I've found myself feeling this exact way and my husband rarely travels! Thanks for being a wonderfully REAL and FUN read on my list of favorite blogs :)