Wednesday, November 20, 2013


I just randomly came across an IG account today of a woman of four children, one of which was taken at the age of 2. I honestly couldn't even tell you what the cause of death was for this precious baby because I couldn't make it through her pics far back enough to possibly find out. Midway through, I had to retreat to my closet to just have a good cry. I just couldn't imagine, but at the same time..... I feel like I can feel that knot in my stomach the best that I can without having actually suffered the loss. Does that make sense?

 Today, I got to take MY two year old to lunch, then the park, then kiss her to sleep for her nap time. I have a lot of days where I just wonder WHY I get to be the one to hold on to my baby just a little bit longer?? I hate how emotional becoming a mom has made me ( although I was pretty emotional before), but I am so glad for the reality it keeps me living in. I have many gifts. The gift of Amara herself, the gift of motherhood, the gift of TRULY getting to understand the meaning of "love" as best as I can on Earth. Ya know, "love"....the REAL kind that God talks about. It makes me so aware of how much God loves ME. Becoming a parent will really do that to you I believe.

Church has been such a lifeline for me in the last year. I am 28 years old, and I would say that I am finally beginning to understand what it means to "cling to Jesus". I am not perfect by any means, but I do know that I need Him desperately. I am not here to tell you what to believe, but I DO believe that there is a God that loves you, a Savior who DIED for YOU, and a place in Heaven for you if you would receive it. I know this is a heavier post for me, but I am just overwhelmed today with how much love I have been shown my whole life. I look at my whole family right now, and thank God that I could pick up the phone and call them if I wanted to hear their voices. That is a great feeling to feel around the holidays. This post isn't to make anyone who has lost someone feel worse, but for me to say to you that I hear your story, and want to love well because of it. I don't know what God holds for my life in the years to come, but right now I am savoring.

Hug your loved ones extra hard ( every day!)

Friday, November 1, 2013

And the owl says... "Whoo Whoo!"

Hope everyone had an amazing Halloween!! I am a little behind in posting pics because Halloween got "postponed" here in Nashville due to Tornado watches and stormy weather. Kind of a bummer, but man... I am sooooo glad that we got to celebrate tonight because it was beautiful out.

If I am being honest, I will tell you that I am not really into Halloween. I am okay not decorating for it, I  don't enjoy being scared, and quite honestly.... I don't really like giving out candy. I know! I know! I know! I am an awful person. I actually didn't even think I would enjoy trick or treating with Amara, but after the first house we went to all of my preconceived ideas I had of how our night would go were NULL. AND. VOID!!

You guys, Amara absolutely loved trick or treating. We did zero prep for the evening. I didn't even know if she could say the phrase "trick or treat!". So on our way to our friends' house I asked her to say it and she did. Then, she said it about 50,000 more times that night. She alternated between "trick or treat!" and "thank you!" on the way up the stairs before even getting to the doors and on the way down the stairs after getting her goods. One after the other.....she just talked the entire time. She dragged her bucket on the ground the whole way. I offered to carry it for her several times, but she insisted on carrying it herself. She is just so independent these days. Gabe and I just watched her with pride. She just seems more grown everyday (well, because she is technically), and while it makes me a TINY bit sad, it makes smile even more.